It's been a long week here in the Nelson abode.
Today, the urge to make a hot buttered rum came much too early. Luckily Prestyn ate the last of the butter right off the counter this morning. So, I was shit-out-of-luck.
For the past few months my dogs have been passing a lovely case of campylobacter back and forth with Prestyn. It's tits. (When you're walkin' down the hall, and you feel something fall: Diarrhea, diarrhea.) My hands are cracked and bleeding from washing them 23,984,732,984,737 times a day.
I called the doctor, for the third embarrassing time, to get another Z-pack to cure the chronic Nelson runs. Somehow, I have evaded the bacteria....but no one else has. (I must be the only one not eating fecal matter.) Bracing myself for a scathing lecture on cleanliness, I was surprised to hear that they would just refill her prescription one more time. Whew!
Unfortunately the doggy meds won't be so easy. I explained to the receptionist my recurring poopy problem, now certain it was starting with the dogs. "The doctor will want to see them." CHA-CHING was all I heard. I know that if I had spoken directly with the vet he probably would have just given me the rx, but of course he's on vacation. The nerve.
In my mind, a $322.98 stool sample confirming campylobacter from the local hospital should be enough to get a quick shot of antibiotics for pooches. Seems that's not the case. So they'll be soiling the yard four times a day for the remainder of the weekend.
Along with persistent squirts, we've been teething here for...oh...a good 2 years now. Will it ever end? Are there really teeth down in there? Will she really get every poop and pee in the potty? Will she stop getting into everything?
Highlight of the Week: Found Prestyn on the far side of our bed, chewing on a condom and covered in KY. Really? She thought it was HA-larious. To boot, I couldn't catch the booger because she was covered in lubricant and kept slipping through my grip. This began a good 20-minute, slimy chase. Eventually, I caught her and cleaned the lube off. When I got in bed that night, Lars looked at me and asked what was all over my pants, "Looks like splooge," he chuckled. Pretty much...
Will I ever get my sanity back???
I know that she won't be two forever (thank god!). If that were the case, humans would be extinct. Like many other animals, they would probably eat their young soon after birth.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Easy Things You Can Do to Save the Planet while Saving $
Over the years I have developed some habits that I am proud of (and others I am not, of course, which I will be keeping to myself).
In a world with an ever-changing climate, it's important for everyone to take steps to save our precious resources. I want my children, their children, and grandchildren to enjoy the same mountainous beauty I enjoy right now. (And, I want it to snow, dammit! It's Dec. 4th, 40 degrees and barely any snow left on the ground....that ain't right!)
Below are five things you can do at home to make a difference for our future. These are easy things I've been doing for years now, and I enjoy the simplicity of each conserving task. The best part is, they will save you money! (Disclaimer: They are things most of you may already be implementing, but if not, it's food for thought.)
These days, all products we buy come in some serious packaging. When you buy things like yogurt, cottage cheese, or sour cream, don't throw the containers away - reuse them! I know in many places they can be recycled, unfortunately I don't have that option here in my high-altitude mountain paradise. So, I am never short on tupperware. Actually, Lars is always frustrated digging through our tupperware drawer because it is stuffed so full it barely closes. If you love sharing your creations, but hate giving away your prize piece of tupperware, this is the perfect solution. And, instead of using plastic baggies in your lunches, you can use these instead. You will save money on baggies and feel good about it!
On the same lines, bread bags are very versatile. I save mine and use them to store open packages of bacon, or spinach and greens from my garden. Brown-bag lunches could become bread-bag lunches. (Since we're in the bread aisle... Not into heels? Don't throw them away! Dry them out and make homemade breadcrumbs in your blender or food processor.)
In our society, cloth napkins have been packed away and only brought out for special occasions. Not in my house! We only use cloth napkins, and it's a nice luxury. We probably use, at the most, six rolls of paper towels a year. (How many do you use?) For cleaning up messes, napkins and dish cloths work much better than paper towels. You have to do laundry anyway right?
My husband is notorious for having three or four water glasses out at a time. On my daily round up, I gather all the water glasses and use them to water my houseplants instead of just pouring it down the sink. That, obviously, saves precious water and lowers bills at the same time. Can't beat that!
The final item, which may be harder for some people to implement than others, is composting. All those food scraps (no meat or dairy items) can make great fertilizer for your garden and lawn...for free! It also saves room in your garbage can (and the landfill) which can also keep more hard-earned money in your pocket.
If we all work together, we CAN make a difference to help Mother Earth!
In a world with an ever-changing climate, it's important for everyone to take steps to save our precious resources. I want my children, their children, and grandchildren to enjoy the same mountainous beauty I enjoy right now. (And, I want it to snow, dammit! It's Dec. 4th, 40 degrees and barely any snow left on the ground....that ain't right!)
Below are five things you can do at home to make a difference for our future. These are easy things I've been doing for years now, and I enjoy the simplicity of each conserving task. The best part is, they will save you money! (Disclaimer: They are things most of you may already be implementing, but if not, it's food for thought.)
These days, all products we buy come in some serious packaging. When you buy things like yogurt, cottage cheese, or sour cream, don't throw the containers away - reuse them! I know in many places they can be recycled, unfortunately I don't have that option here in my high-altitude mountain paradise. So, I am never short on tupperware. Actually, Lars is always frustrated digging through our tupperware drawer because it is stuffed so full it barely closes. If you love sharing your creations, but hate giving away your prize piece of tupperware, this is the perfect solution. And, instead of using plastic baggies in your lunches, you can use these instead. You will save money on baggies and feel good about it!
On the same lines, bread bags are very versatile. I save mine and use them to store open packages of bacon, or spinach and greens from my garden. Brown-bag lunches could become bread-bag lunches. (Since we're in the bread aisle... Not into heels? Don't throw them away! Dry them out and make homemade breadcrumbs in your blender or food processor.)
In our society, cloth napkins have been packed away and only brought out for special occasions. Not in my house! We only use cloth napkins, and it's a nice luxury. We probably use, at the most, six rolls of paper towels a year. (How many do you use?) For cleaning up messes, napkins and dish cloths work much better than paper towels. You have to do laundry anyway right?
My husband is notorious for having three or four water glasses out at a time. On my daily round up, I gather all the water glasses and use them to water my houseplants instead of just pouring it down the sink. That, obviously, saves precious water and lowers bills at the same time. Can't beat that!
The final item, which may be harder for some people to implement than others, is composting. All those food scraps (no meat or dairy items) can make great fertilizer for your garden and lawn...for free! It also saves room in your garbage can (and the landfill) which can also keep more hard-earned money in your pocket.
If we all work together, we CAN make a difference to help Mother Earth!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Children: Proven to Gray Hair Faster than the Leading Brand
Every day is an adventure. I love it, don't get me wrong. But some days I think I may end up prematurely gray, or, heaven forbid, totally bald. It's a definite possibility at this point, and I wouldn't be surprised if one, or both, occur.
Some days Prestyn knows how to make the hair turn gray and fall out quickly.
Today has been one of those days. (It's 2 p.m. and I already have a hazelnut hot chocolate - great for the hips, bad for the liver.)
Pretty much every day, after several cups of coffee, I need some alone time. You do too.
Today, during said time, Prestyn managed to get Lars' Sudafed off the counter and somehow pop six pills out. I found her with the metallic, plastic case on her bed, lips red with satisfaction. I panicked, as any mother would. I asked her how many she ate, as I counted the barren plastic discs. Her response, "One, two, three, five, six."
Exactly that many clear, plastic holes were in the packet. Six or seven hairs fell out just then, and 12 went gray. Good thing I'm blonde.
I ran to find the rest of the box, and to my great relief I found six, slimy half-red tablets on the counter. Eight new, happy hairs popped out.
Apparently, once she got past the red coating, the tablets were no longer candy-like. The day prior, my friend Laura had given Prestyn a tiny red M&M to seduce her out of the car.
Thank you McNeil Consumer Healthcare, for not making your pills taste totally like candy. But, PLEASE make a child-proof package!
Within the next few days, we plan to install a locking bathroom cabinet. Oh the wonders of the modern world...with deadly poison comes the ever-important child lock.
I know this will not be the last scare. I anxiously await many exciting days to come...before I turn gray and bald.
Some days Prestyn knows how to make the hair turn gray and fall out quickly.
Today has been one of those days. (It's 2 p.m. and I already have a hazelnut hot chocolate - great for the hips, bad for the liver.)
Pretty much every day, after several cups of coffee, I need some alone time. You do too.
Today, during said time, Prestyn managed to get Lars' Sudafed off the counter and somehow pop six pills out. I found her with the metallic, plastic case on her bed, lips red with satisfaction. I panicked, as any mother would. I asked her how many she ate, as I counted the barren plastic discs. Her response, "One, two, three, five, six."
Exactly that many clear, plastic holes were in the packet. Six or seven hairs fell out just then, and 12 went gray. Good thing I'm blonde.
I ran to find the rest of the box, and to my great relief I found six, slimy half-red tablets on the counter. Eight new, happy hairs popped out.
Apparently, once she got past the red coating, the tablets were no longer candy-like. The day prior, my friend Laura had given Prestyn a tiny red M&M to seduce her out of the car.
Thank you McNeil Consumer Healthcare, for not making your pills taste totally like candy. But, PLEASE make a child-proof package!
Within the next few days, we plan to install a locking bathroom cabinet. Oh the wonders of the modern world...with deadly poison comes the ever-important child lock.
I know this will not be the last scare. I anxiously await many exciting days to come...before I turn gray and bald.
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